Tourney Talk

By Dr. Jekyll

This was supposed to be an article about how to pick tournament winners. How to avoid the suckers bet and walk away from your bracket with your head held high. About knowing what upsets to call, how to root against a 5 seed, and understanding that your completely understandable hatred of Duke is fine, but they won’t lose in the first round.

And then some team from Northern Iowa shot my bracket in the foot, and just as it started hobbling St. Mary’s took out Villanova.

But despite the fact that there’s no hope for getting the right champion, I still have 7 of the elite 8 hanging around. So what are the keys to tournament success?

I’ll tell you.

1. Pick upsets early. Other than giving all of the 1, 2, and 3 seeds a free pass (Georgetown not withstanding). After that, seeding really doesn’t mean much. Every year some 12’s come out of nowhere (Murray State and Washington this year) and “shock you”. When in doubt, just pick the cooler mascot.

2. But don’t listen to experts. More than anything, everyone is a bandwagon fan. A team like UTEP goes from a nice side pick to suddenly a magic 8-ball that you can’t turn away from on ESPN. The moment you hear them talking about some special team, dump em.

3. Same for Cinderella. Double digit seeds push their way into the Sweet 16 every year, but don’t get cute. With the exception of George Mason, it’s never a good idea to throw a bunch of 9’s and 10’s into your Final Four.

4. On that same note, always have at least a 1 in your Final Four. They’re ranked as the top teams in the country for a reason. No matter what else happens, they earned that seed at some point, and the chances of the four “best” teams dropping out are pretty poor.

5. Watch the injury reports early. If you do nothing else with college basketball, pay attention when players go down during their respective Conference Tournaments. Basketball injuries linger.

6. Pray. Let’s be honest, you’ve watched maybe five college basketball games all year. You spend about three days reading every column you can find on trendy picks, and ultimately you have no idea what you’re doing. But there’s nothing more fun in the world than screaming at your TV for some mid-major that you’ve never heard of (GO BAYLOR!) to make it to the finals and show everyone else just how much of a champion you are.

So go curl up a comfy seat for the last few days of the tournament. Angrily yell at kids who aren’t even able to legally drink to win your $400 pool. And always bring your bracket.